Strange Love

I can’t hide anything from you. You see through every wall, every facade that I put up. You know what every smile and what every tear means. You can hear the truth through my lies… you know how much of a wretch I am. But still, you chose to love me.

Of the 7 billion people who are living, breathing in this world, I am pretty much sure that a lot of other people are better than me, nicer than me. How come it was me that you chose to love? I admit that I am, without a shadow of a doubt, undeserving of this great love that you decided to lavish on me.

And what did I do with that love? I chose to throw it away. I wasn’t able to recognize how great a privilege it was to be loved by someone like you. You gave me your heart and I took it and destroyed it right before your very eyes. And then walked away, not even looking back. I walked away and left you there.

What kind of man are you? You didn’t turn around and go your own way. Instead, you took the shattered love on the floor and made it new again. You even ran after me, calling my name. And many times I turned around only to tell you to get lost. Many times, I spat in your face.

That wasn’t enough to make you leave. You patiently followed me, reminding me every step of the way that you still love me. You didn’t stop telling me how your love remains the same.

I got sick of it. I got sick of you, following me around. I turned around and screamed in your face “Leave me alone. I want to sink to the bottom of the ocean!” I wanted to have peace of mind and it seemed that that was only possible in the greatest depths of the ocean. You smiled at me and simply said “But I want you to walk on water.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing so I started running away. My eyes shut from all the tears.

And then I bumped into something soft and warm.

I opened my eyes and what I found was you.

You enveloped me in the tightest hug, reassuring me that it was going to be okay. I start to break down and apologize for everything I did, it was the least you deserved. But you told me to keep quiet, that everything was forgiven. Not only forgiven, but forgotten… like they never existed.

What kind of love is this?